If you have never suffered from Depression, this just may enlighten you and help you understand some of the things that people with Depression have to face. For Many years I have suffered with anxiety and depression. I guess you could say it was brought on by a health scare several years ago, because before that scare I don't ever recall having such attacks. Luckily for me, I have found a medication that does keep my symptoms somewhat in control. That does not mean however, that I am never depressed, it only means that I don't get as bad as I used to.
I started the above blog about a week ago and just didn't feel like typing it anymore so I saved it for a later date. That seem's to be what I do when I get depressed, I procrastinate! But today, I actually did get a minimal amount accomplished at home and I did read another blog about Depression, and thought to myself, 'Wow, I am that person this very moment, I have to finish my blog!' For me, having depression is most definitely life altering. There are times that I literally can not function! I do function most of the time, but it is difficult occasionally. I do not want to get out of bed sometimes, but I do. I don't want to work many days, but I do. I don't want to have to attend my kids sporting events often, but I do. I don't want to socialize, I don't even want to speak sometimes! There are many things I don't want to do, and I DON'T!
I do not get depressed over any one particular thing or any combination of things. It just hits. And it hits with a ton of bricks! When it does, I really don't think I have many negative thoughts, in fact, I don't think at all, I just want to sleep!! FOREVER!! I do have a tendency to be a little social butterfly, but when my depression hits, forget it!! I will not go out to dinner with friends, I will not go to parties, weddings, funerals, or even a birth!! I know, pretty fucking sad! I won't even go to a store for groceries, I would rather starve! But I have turned away from all of those things more than I can count in the past fifteen years, all because of depression. I feel absolutely horrible when I miss certain events, but for whatever reason, I can't make myself do these things. So you can see how depression can be, and is life altering for some people. I am one of the chosen it seems!!
Luckily for me, I have an amazing group of girlfriends who understand my depression, and they have literally come to my house and gotten me out of bed to take me to dinner! My husband has actually had to deal with a lot of my depression issues over the years, but until recently, I do believe he was one who thought "Get over it, you are a wife and a mom, you have things you HAVE to do, so do them." My husband does empathize more now than he ever has, and is supportive, caring and understanding. Depression is not something you can "Get Over" but it is something you and those around you can cope with if you have the love, support, and understanding of your family and friends.
I hope if you are reading this and you or someone you know has depression, you now understand that it is not something one can just walk away from. That it is a daily struggle, we have our moments, but we will be OK in the end. We just need a little empathy and patience.
I have struggled with depression too. A few years ago, I was suffering from Hypothyroidism and that can cause depression, mixed in with other personal issues. I would cry every second that there was no one around, and I would go home sit on the couch and not do a thing. But thank God I found out what I had and within a week of taking my thyroid medicine I stopped crying and life returned slowly but surely to normal.
ReplyDeleteAt this time, I am going through some other personal problems, like divorce, and at times I look at my life and realize that for the past 4 years my spouse has not loved me. And I see myself alone, even if I have my 2 daughters, but thinking that no man loves me, or wants to be with me, and it makes me just want to cry. And I do, and there are moments I just feel like going to sleep, forever. But I don't.
My oldest daughter asked me yesterday: mommy, what is your favorite thing to do? What makes you happy? and I said: My most favorite thing to do is lay in bed with my pillow and sleep! I honestly could think of a single most satisfying thing than sleeping. And it's kinda sad.
But I know things will pass, I must have faith, that things will get better, but when I think about spending the holidays alone, it brings on a whole new set of depressing feelings.
So, yes, I've been there and it's tough.
Hoping that the worst times go away fast and bring about the best times, soon enough.
~M~ I so feel what you are saying my dear!!! TRUST me, you will not be alone forever! I will tell you what I have told two of my friends. Take care of you, get you where you want to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Then, and only then, should you allow another into your life. When you do that, you will end up with 'the one' who you never thought you deserved, but do!!! Depression is a difficult thing to accept, but the more positive thoughts we have, the easier it is to deal with. Remember, what you are going through is temporary!! Have faith!! <3
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